The Other Side

Roxy Walsh

"The Other Side" in relation to the boys is the Actuality (and unrepresentability) of them in relation to the abstract (but existing) children who we did not adopt:  the lists of characteristics that we might or might not be able to cope with, the imaginings, the vicarious griefs and joys.  These were never actual children that were considered - the boys were the first real children we were told about - but attributes to do with health, developmental potential, biographical trauma and so on.

So in that sense we are suddenly on the live side - which though not directly opposite to bereavement is very much in a different direction and that we are so thankful that our hopes have turned to a reality so boundlessly unimaginable.

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